05.11.2002 - Derby, Victoria Inn

Review by TJ

See also set of photos taken by TJ!

Up Like A Rocket! 

Gabba Gabba Hey'd to Alan ‘TUTS’ Smith whilst driving down to Derby.  We spoke about a certain grey haired, black vested singer-songwriter. We discussed  how The Boys have a lot of marketing and advertising support from their fan-base.  We also chatted about TV’s image (as I’m currently having to self  market myself at work to keep myself actively employed and Alan actually works  in marketing.) TV’s view on image is clear from the Zigzag interview (see  the Explorer CD booklet.) 

ZZ: What about your image.  TV: Image???  ZZ: You never put over a strong image or if you did, it was ‘nice’.  TV Err… so this is where we went wrong! I think we are up a blind alley!

Hey TV – Nice is fine for us m8!

I left Alan as I struggled to park the car and he complained that he was stuck  in such heavy traffic in St Albans (on the wrong date Alan!!!) Not only was  he going to miss TV in Derby, but he was also going to miss the school Bonfire  Night party that he had given the gig up for. Phew! Thanks goodness Shady The  Wonderdog isn’t at school yet!

The B & B was CHEAP with decent ale – sorted!

Tried to get a pint of Burton Bridge Beefy (my pre Tj nickname)  but it had run out. A quick pint, sandwich and scan at the Good Beer Guide and  I was on my way to find the other TV EXPLORERS in Derby. I picked the Smithfield  for my first pint, as there were no pubs called TV and this one had Oakham on!!!

A daring riverside walk, with the sky exploding with a cast of a thousand fireworks.  Three Oakham's on tap – a quick half of Bishop’s Farewell, White  Dwarf (hmn! why does that remind me of Class of ’79?) and JHB later and  it was time for Bishop Tj to say farewell.

I took another route to the Brunswick, where I had arranged to meet Class of’  ’79, and got lost. Met a bloke who guided me through street and car parks  to the Brunswick. He’d just been landscape gardening in Todmorden (a small  town on the Yorkshire border), and he couldn’t understand a word they  said! 

No Class of ’79 in the Bruny! A quick Triple Hop, skip and a jump and  I was drinking with my gardener guide in the Victoria. The GREAT MAN arrived  and we had a chat about the new album and the pressure I might be putting some  TUTS under to travel to Cambridge for a central TUTS Earthbound 2002 Gathering.  I chickened out mentioning marketing and image!

Steve and Lee from Sheffield and Leeds TV gigs 2001 arrived and we exchanged  greetings and the ale flowed…

…Sometime later the TV was turned off and we made our way into the back  concert room. Steve and Lee made a dash for the one remaining Useless t-shirt.

“TV off – TV on – it’s time to play” TV.

Television’s Over

“This evening I will be mostly playing firework songs.” TV

Like A Rocket

Awesome! This song is a real shooting star! “Put me in a bucket and don’t  approach me!” TV. “There is only one song I can play at Tj’s  21st TV Smith gig” TV.

No Time To Be 21

“Where’s Tj? TV. I nervously edge my way to the front (yes me!)  “Tj, here is a one off special ‘No Time To Be At Your 21st TV Smith  Gig’ badge. I smile, looking a little embarrassed – what a GUY –  this certainly is…

Not A Bad Day

Superb! 

For Every Hit There’s A Miss

This new classic always reminds me of Klaus watching TV sing this at The Verge  in London.

The Future Used To Be Better

Class of ’79 and Captaindfs made their introductions and they in turn  introduced me to son of Class of ’79. Co7 couldn’t make the Brunswick  because he had his 7-year-old son with him called Michael. Michael, nicknamed  Class of 7 by yours truly, looked resplendent in his homemade TV Smith Useless  jumper. Is Michael TV’s youngest fan? Class of ’79 had emailed me  to let me know he couldn’t make the Bruny, but my BT line was down. As  I was talking to Co7 I noticed that Steve and Lee were looking at me at grinning.  I looked down to see my pint where I had left it next to the speaker. I had  been drinking Co7’s beer all the time I had been talking to him. And thus  began a theme for the tour!!!

Roll Like A River

This Gen Y ballad is performed as wonderfully as it was in Ipswich. 

One Million Pounds 

“Why do people get obsessed about things like loads of money? It doesn’t  really matter?” TV.

The immortal Rich

“Runaway Train Driver” screams a fan. “I don’t normally  play that yet, but why not! Do you want it with the band or just me? You’re  the audience - YOU CHOOSE! “Solo,” shouts the fan.

Runaway Train Driver

“I find it peculiar that they would rather have their privates out in  public” TV (referring to Jerry Springer type TV shows.)

Swimming In The Flood

GAWD I love these two new SF songs!

As Soon As I Found It I Lost It

Punk time!

Great British Mistake

“Don’t follow their way,” TV.

Wheels Out Of Gear

Oh boy! Gear is another 80’s demo! Yes! “People Don’t Know”  I scream. No luck this time. TV has since told me that it’s a maximum  of one old demo per gig. One will do me just fine Teev! I’d now like to  introduce by band…

Your Ticket Out Of Here

Boy that was loud!  “Even though we are little people from a large planet we don’t have  to put up with this…” TV

Earthbound 

“When they tell us things are going well, I start to worry,” TV

Sugar Crash    “I thought these would be dead in the water by now, but they are still  around,” TV

Tomahawk Cruise

“Anybody want to hear another Explorers song?” TV. Guess the  reply?

Looking Down On London

“What should I do next?” TV…

A Cast Of Thousands replied. 

Be different and choose diversity…

Only One Flavour

“Ignorant people try to get you to believe that you don’t have  any use,” TV.

Useless

“Here’s another firework song that I wrote in the late Cheap years,  way back in the ‘80’s, all those years ago – grow up Granddad!”  TV

The Lion And The Lamb

“And your glamour fades so quick, Soars up like a rocket, Down like a  stick,” sang TV.

Expensive Being Poor

Time to finish with that Top 18 hit single… 

Gary Gilmore’s Eyes

The crowd charged to the front to buy CD’s. Yes! This is more like it.  TV Smith making money – what next? I snap a pic for posterity. I took  a very special photo of Class of 7 and TV. I tried to buy a purple TV tour poster,  but TV wasn’t having my brass. So I sneaked a couple of quid on the  top of one of TV’s CD’s when he wasn’t looking though. He!  He!

I said my farewells and sprinted to The Alexander. If I didn’t make it  by 11:15 I would turn into a roast chestnut! 

On arrival I went into the taproom and checked my belongings…camera,  wallet, TV tour poster….Erk! Where is my leg-end-ary T J Sundown Gig Review  Book. I looked so devastated that the pub owners waved their doors shut rule  and let me go back to the Victoria and pick up my book.

I arrived to find, to my dismay, that the venue was all locked and boarded  up. I banged on the front door – no reply. I went round to the side and  banged on every window and door I could find. I heard TV’s voice and banged  even harder. The side door opened. “Tj what’s up?” asked a  concerned TV. “It’s bad news TV – it’s the gig review  book,” I replied. “Oh! No! What are we going to do?” sighed  TV. We looked in every nook and cranny to no avail. We sadly parted company  and tried to reassure each other that it would be okay and life would go on.

Back in the room as I got changed for bed I spotted the gig review book on  my bed????

What had happened?

I could only think of three explanations:

1. Special magic from the Gig Review Book Fairy!

2. Unable to get the book in my pocket I had forced the book down the back  of my pants for safe keeping. Not noticing this rather cold feeling due  to panic and a large volume of alcohol. 

3. TV had secretly pinched the gig review book to write down the songs he had  played so that he could beat me to get the set list to Klaus. Sending a runner  back with the book to my hotel whilst I was banging on the doors of the Victoria.  The runner then broke into my room and left the book on my bed, in a style very  familiar of the man in black from the Milk Tray chocolate ADVERTS. 

YOU CHOOSE?

Review by Fred Owen

 Remember, remember some great gigs in November!      Tuesday the fifth of November! TV Smith plays Derby!!!

HOWEVER, I’d got tickets with my mate from work, Kim, to go and see Hugh  Cornwell in Northampton several weeks prior to this gig being announced, so  I went with Kim - couldn’t let her go on her own now could I? 

Two interesting factors: 

1. We’d never been to Northampton - would we find the place? It’s  my job to navigate!  2. I have a theory that The Stranglers always have a strange support act - would  Hugh continue this tradition??? (I’ve seen a cash-in ska band, a music  hall entertainer, a performance artist dance troop and some awful bands previously!)

We arrive in Northampton and find the place and park up no problem. The support  turns out to be an act called Retalik (www.retalik.com) - looks like a girl  singing to backing tapes, apparently its a three piece - I assume the others  make the tapes she sings to. She’s got some bottle to do it, but nothing  of great interest here - very electro-gothic. Sounds like Hugh’s-ex, Hazel  O’Connor… Another strange support act to add to the list! 

Hugh (www.hughcornwell.com) takes the stage in a smart suit with a bass player  and drummer young enough to be his (grand-)son. Kicks off with ‘Nice and  Sleazy’ - ‘Peaches’, Hanging Around’, Baroque Bordello’  and ‘Tramp’ are among other Stranglers songs we are treated to before  the final encore of ‘No More Heroes’. Some of his solo stuff is  very strong - but some is a bit strange for my taste “Here are two songs  about insects…” - you get the picture. A strong set overall and  he still has what it takes to provide a night of high-energy entertainment.  His trademark bad jokes between songs were gone from his Stranglers’ days,  but the top two comments of the evening were: 

To a request for ‘Peaches’ after the third song of the set (‘Peaches’  having been the second song!): “We just did it! Were you asleep?!”  (Fat chance!) 

To a request for ‘Go Buddy Go’ (A Jean (Never mind the Buzzcocks)  Jacques sung song): “I think you’re at the wrong gig!” 

Friday 8th November: Sham 69 (www.sham69.com) at the Charlotte in Leicester  - Sham were the second professional band I paid to see, at their infamous second-to-last  farewell gig at the much missed Glasgow Apollo, where ex-Pistols Cook and Jones  turned up to encore with Sham. (Do you remember? Jimmy Pursey and Dave Tregenna  of Sham were going to join up with them to form the Sham-Pistols - Cook and  Jones walked out within a week apparently saying “He’s worse than  Rotten!” - whatever could they have meant?!) 

We wait patiently up the front of this compact venue (that has a brilliant  atmosphere!) through a punk covers band and The Pokers (some good Ramones-style,  hi-energy punky stuff – www.thepokers.co.uk) for Sham to take the stage.  As they do, two things of note occurred: 

Firstly, they still start with the ‘2001: A Space Odyssey theme’  Richard Strauss’ ‘Also sprach Zarathustra’) and burst into  ‘What have we got?’ just as they always seem to, but in this little  venue with no backstage entry (the performers have to scramble through the crowd),  they have to wait on stage with their backs to the audience until its finished!

Secondly, about thirty skinheads take no prisoners as they rush to the front  and literally send everyone originally at the front flying! They climb up on  the barriers and block the view for most of the audience. Some things never  change you might think (especially if you’ve read TV’s notes to  ‘Crossing the Red Sea with… The Ultimate Edition’), except  that Jimmy Pursey tells them to get down or the gig stops - they do, and when  one climbs on stage, he tells him to get off (and a mouthful of abuse!) and  he does. Nice one – he’s got them well trained. 

What follows is a great set of mainly classic Sham stuff, with a few recent  Pursey/Parsons contributions too - an excellent, tight set - I do feel 16 again  for an hour or so… Great to see them in such a small venue - what an atmosphere!

(Just before Sham take the stage a little skinhead that looks about 14 wanders  towards the stage drinking a pint that’s about as big as he is! Lot’s  of people laugh – he’s like a model: classic skinhead clothes and  looks – I christen him a cabbage patch skinhead!) 

Saturday the 9th - Back to the Charlotte for Hanoi Rocks! They were about the  only band I liked in 1985, so I’m really looking forward to seeing them  again. The last time I saw them was on their last tour before the original split  when they played with Johnny Thunders (MUCH missed – RIP!) - what a night  that was!!!!!!! 

We get to the venue to find Andy the owner providing refunds! Apparently they  didn’t like the Charlotte’s “intimate” stage conditions  - “Robert Plant didn’t seem to mind when he played here!”  remarks a disappointed local. The fans who travelled from London and Liverpool  were a tad more annoyed! Oh well… 

Let’s try again! 

Saturday 16th, Rock City, Nottingham. Hanoi (www.hanoi-rocks.net) like this  venue, so they play the gig! The gig starts at 8.45(!) and finishes at 10 -  getting on a bit are they? Need their rest between gigs? Nah, its that punters  that want to see Hanoi can then go out and come back into another of Rock City’s  venue for the nightclub bit… 

A great barnstormer of a set - very similar to the last time I saw them, despite  a new drummer (obviously!), rhythm guitarist, bassist and the addition of keyboards.  Tons of makeup and glitter everywhere - and the band had some too. 

Sunday 17th: Up to Sheffield… Having seen Hugh, lets add JJ, Dave and  Jet! Yep, its the ‘new’-look Stranglers. I last saw them in 1998  and found ‘new’ singer Paul Roberts a bit OTT - he tried too hard  and didn’t let the songs flow naturally I thought, so what would they  be like tonight? 

(Oh, by the way, support act ‘Clean’ were atrocious - what the  hell they need all those backing tracks of birdsong and waves for I’ll  never know - another weird support to add to my theory!) 

The Stranglers (www.stranglers.net) were awesome! What an absolute belter of  a set in a packed venue! Tons of classic oldies (‘Death and Night and  Blood’ was my personal favourite), some great newies, loads of energy,  sweat and emotions - I act 16 again! Yep, even my arthritis couldn’t stop  a spot of up-the-front jumping about (what I felt like the next morning I can’t  describe, but it was worth it!). Kim thought it was the best gig she’d  seen for years and Cath (a first Stranglers gig for her) concurred. It was a  belter - check them out if you get a chance - they are REALLY, REALLY back on  tip-top form! 

Thursday 21st: Back to Rock City for my current favourite band Spear of Destiny  (www.kirkbrandon.net). I’d heard a lot of good things about the support  act, The Black Swans (www.blackswans.co.uk), as they had previously supported  Spear and also have links with M*k* P*t*r’s *l*rm 2002 (but I didn’t  let that put me off! Sorry Klaus and Tj - I just can’t see what you see  in the guy!). They turn out to be a highly entertaining, tight three-piece.  James Kershaw provides some classic powerhouse drums, Tom Scriven has a very  strong, driving guitar style and Sarah Lipman yields a Fender bass as big as  her! She has a strong, clear voice and a great stage presence. I compliment  them on the way out at the end and pick up a copy of their first single ‘Limited  Excess’ (backed with ‘Fame Game’ (the strongest song, in my  humble opinion, on this release) and a live version of ‘Killing Ourselves’  - I heartily recommend it to you - available from their website! Get it now  before they get famous!!! 

Spear take the stage, complete with keyboards, and launch into an excellent  ‘aNTHOLOGY’ set - the new slimmed-down single edition of the previous  ‘aNTHOLOGY’ 4CD set has recently been issued, as has their new studio  album, ‘Morning Star’ - all highly recommended too!!! Fantastic,  brilliant, excellent! Simple as that!!! 

Friday 29th: Last gig of the month next, TV in Birmingham. It’s the first  time Kim will see TV, but as she can’t leave work until 7PM, she wonders  if we’ll make it across to Brum in time. “No problem I say, the  venue’s not far from the city centre and I lived in Birmingham for three  years!” 

Oh dear! 

Bloody roadworks, bloody diversions, bloody fog, bloody Birmingham road system!  (Too many bloody Queensways if you ask me.) I remember my wife and I always  joking that it was a shame we were leaving Birmingham as it had taken three  years to get the hang of the roads! 

Yes, I got us lost - we went round the city for around half an hour looking  for the right way (“I should have brought the fucking A-Z after all!”  seemed to be a sort of demonic prayer falling from my lips every minute or so!)  Eventually inspiration strikes/my memory returns and we find the pub, park up  and go inside around 9.45 - “At least we’ll catch most of it I say”.  I had assumed there wouldn’t be a late licence! Delighted to discover  TV still enjoying a pre-show drink! Hurrah! 

Just time for a pint before TV takes the stage around 10PM and says “Hello,  yes the gig’s started!” in his usual understated fashion. Bang -  ‘Only One Flavour’ kicks off around two and three-quarter hours  of bliss! 

This has GOT TO BE the best TV solo set ever! A sizable, enthusiastic and knowledgeable  audience sing along, request a great mix of old and new songs and generate some  top quality banter. TV jokes about his miserable songs on several occasions  until finally someone shouts out ‘BIG FISH’! “Oh yeah, says  TV, we’ve got to have the most miserable one of all haven’t we?!”.  “Don’t you fucking dare!” screams a girl perched near the  bar. “I will dare! We always need people that go against the grain!”  replies TV as he launches into one of my favourites. 

Talking of swearing, TV says that a TV Smith gig without it just wouldn’t  seem right and treats us to one of his stream of excellent anecdotes (come on  TV, publish the diaries or autobiography ASAP PLEASE!!!). “When I played  at Butlin’s…” Hoots of mocking “Butlin’s!”  and much laughter follow! TV points out some familiar faces from that gig in  the crowd and says: “They were there - it was a punk festival!”  (See earlier diary… come on TV, publish the diaries or autobiography ASAP  PLEASE!!!). Much cheering and nodding of heads follows… “Anyway,  when I played there and swore between songs, the redcoats held up a big sign  saying: “This is a family audience - please don’t swear”!”.  More hoots of laughter! 

I’ve been quiet on the request front tonight as so many of the audience  clearly know Tim’s stuff well. Can’t resist it any longer: “Atlantic  Tunnel!” I shout. “’Atlantic Tunnel’ it is!” says  TV. He then says “I was over in the USA recently and started the first  gig with this one – I thought I’d better let them know what I’d  been saying about them all these years!” Roars of approval are followed  by a belting version of this excellent song and the biggest cheer of the night!

TV gives in and plays “I Know What You Want” complete with specimen  grin (Sadly my camera was broken so I’ve only got one (perhaps none?)  photo of this event!) “Televisions Over” I yell and get my favourite  Adverts song… This is followed by a classic moment. Someone had earlier  requested “Drowning Men” – “Interesting…”  says TV, “I haven’t played that solo before, if fact I haven’t  played it since 1979! I’ll play it if I don’t break a string in  the next few numbers” (Two are broken in the course of the evening’s  gig!). So we get “Drowning Men”!!! 

11PM came and went. So did 11.30, Midnight and around 12.15 TV says “I’d  better start rounding things up!” Cries of dissent follow this comment.  “But I want a drink with you!” says TV. Sorry mate, this crowd won’t  take no for an answer – around 12.30 he finishes – only to strap  the guitar straight back on and give us “Useless” and “One  Chord Wonders”. WHAT A NIGHT! 

On the way back to Melton I asked Kim if she’d enjoyed it and she said  it was brilliant. “And what did you make of my cunning plan to show you  some of Birmingham before the gig?” I asked, attempting to make light  of our little diversion! She just laughed and said “Yeah, right!”  - nice one! As Kim and Cath always do the driving on our gig excursions, and  I’d promised her I knew exactly how to get there, I was anxious to make  light of my great incompetence! “Typical of me” I said, “never  been to Northampton and I find the place straight away, I lived in Birmingham  for three bloody years and I get us totally lost”. I won’t forget  it in a hurry though…after the encore, I’d popped up to congratulate  TV on his cracking set and pick up a souvenir “Ultimate Edition”  signed by TV for Kim and a couple of signed posters. TV customises mine with  a drawing of a car with steam and a large “F*CK!” coming out of  it!!! Cheers TV!!!