24.10.2001 - Leeds, The New Roscoe

Review by TJ

TV Takes The Leeds 

Got up at 8:00 a.m., phoned work and went through the actions of the meeting  I was no longer attending - 'cos I'm on holiday yippee! Back to bed and  another couple of hour's kip. 

Had almond cereal for breakfast whilst listening to Rant by Ian Hunter and  chatting about how the Sheffield gig had gone. I put on my TV Smith Blackpool  Punk Festival video. This wasn't the brightest of moves, as TV hasn't a big  ego like many rock primadonna's, he shuffled around the house uncomfortably.  One of the most noticeable things about life on the road is the huge gap between  the adrenaline rush of the live highs and the numbing drag of the long day lows.  To relieve this boredom I suggested a trip to Wetherby to pick up our vacuum  cleaner from the repair shop. TV was ecstatic and totally overcome with excitement.

It took us a while to get back down to earth after our trip. I checked out  the selection of pizza's for lunch; spicy chorizo & jalapeno…spicy chorizo  & jalapeno…a-ah sunblush tomato & mascarpone - perfect! Alex, our trainer  from work, called "do you know any TV Smith lyrics connected to work, it's  for a training course I'm running?" he asked. "Yeah, I replied there  is quite a few - hey TV, which lyrics do you think would be best to use?"  I heard Alex quietly gasp and I realised what was occurring - I was in my kitchen  cooking a pizza for one of the world's greatest songwriters and asking him about  lyrics to use in a training workshop! Part of the pizza fell limply to the bottom  of the cooker in awe. We decided on Buried By The Machine from the Cheap CD.

After lunch TV went into the lounge and tuned his guitar - some prat sneaked  in and took a photo - so much for privacy!

At 5:30 p.m. we set off for the bus to Leeds. As we stood at the bus stop a  mother and child walked past. The kid stared at TV in awe (no doubt thinking;  my god is that TV Smith….in Clifford!) Lisa, my wife, arrived on the incoming  bus and a quick say hello, wave goodbye later our bus arrived. Then both our  mobile phones rang and we had difficulty getting on the bus and paying our fares  - great timing!

As we approached Leeds, the bus went passed the first of the posters I had  been fly posting. Boy was that an experience! I decided to scribe different  headline quotes on each poster (these included: "Righteous Anger - Infectious  Tunes" / "Acoustic Protest Punk" / "An Unexpected Tour De  Force" / "Rich in Invention - Dripping With Melody" / "Can  Anyone Write A Protest Song?…" ) Later it was carry on time! This featured  me, a 43 year old training manager, sneaking around Leeds ducking behind hedges,  gluing and sticking up TV posters and diving into the safety of my car and scarpering.  My great idea to use a tube of old border paste backfired when the perishing  old tube split at the end and sides - what a sticky situation! At least I didn't  get shot in the kneecaps Jules! 

Arrived at Leeds station and bought the second of today's energy drinks, this  one was called Solstice. TV asked what it was like "smells like cow crap!"  I replied. Got some money out of the cash register as another toddler became  mesmerised by the Punk legend. "Kids are a sucker for old, guitar carrying  punks with bleached sprayed drainpipes" he grinned.

We soon reached The New Roscoe. The walls were awash with TV posters proclaiming;  "1977 Punk Meets 2001" / "TV Delivers The Goods a Long Lost Hero"  / "One Guitar - Punky Anthems - Powerful Voice" (yes …the phantom  scriber had been at it again). Entering the plush concert lounge TV was  amazed to see all the delicate antiques hanging from the walls and ceilings  "Wonder how do they survive the mosh pit?" he pondered. In the corner  were five people who were far from being antique (the oldest looked about 16).  "Are you Three 33?" they nodded in confirmation. "Hello I'm TV  Smith pleased to meet you" he greeted. "Do you have any drums?"  they responded looking non-too hopefully at TV's guitar and an empty handed  roadey (me). "Nope, just me, and my guitar" TV retorted. 

I wangled a pint of Yorkshires finest; Roosters Yankee. TV's Atlantic Tunnel  sound check went well again. The guitarist singer from Three 33 took to the  stage, he sounded pretty impressive. Then it was the female bass players turn,  she was looking a little bit self conscious. The bass sound was fine, "vocals  please" asked the experienced sound engineer. "One Two", "One  Two"….."John's a puff", "he told me to say that" she  giggled, pointing at the guitarist.

We had a quick chat with Three 33's manager (who also used to be in a late  70's Punk band) and then decided to go for a stroll up to my old regular The  City Of Mabgate. TV was looking forward to meeting the landlord because he had  heard he was the most miserable landlord in Yorkshire (maybe TV wanted to  get him to sing Big Fish?) Alas, he wasn't in so we sat down and had a quick  pint. TV had liked the Roosters, so he ordered a pint of one of the breweries  Outlaw beers (ah! another convert to the delights of quality cask ale).

Outside we met Lisa (with Smit and Henry, who had just travelled up from Peterborough).  Smit, Henry and I looked like the bookend boys in our resplendent black Generation  Y T-shirts. We also bumped in to Wes and Holey from the infamous DRAY Riders  (out on the Drinking Real Ale in Yorkshire trail again at the Mabgate and Roscoe).  Got back to the venue and things were hotting up. Spotted Neil, Richard, Jules  and Paul from work. Other members of the DRAY's began to arrive; I said a quick  hello and thank you to Tank, Nev and Burkey (Wes and Holey joined them later).  My Sister Kim, Nephew, Martin and Brother-In-Law, Beanie arrived to make it  a real family affair. It was Kim's second ever gig, having just seen David Essex  last week (the only connection between the singers being the colour of their  hair!). It was Martin's first ever gig. Beanie used to like the Adverts in '77;  in fact one of his favourite sayings was "Mi cymbals fell off", which  was a quote from Adverts drummer Laurie Driver at the end of the B-side Quickstep.

On came Three 33. They played a great set. Their original songs were well played  and catchy. I counted the crowd at over 90 - yes! Three 33 finished off  with "here's one for the old folks" as they burst into My Generation.  At the songs end the drummer (who had eventually managed to locate some drums)  threw down his drumsticks Keith Moon style and marched of the stage with defiant  attitude - nice one!

Time for another beer! At the bar loads of people seemed to want to buy me  a drink, so I walked away with a couple more Roosters. Stood with Lisa and my  work mates as TV took to the stage. One slight problem was that all the teenager  Three 33 fans were sat on the tables at the front (with matching parents down  one side) and all the TV Smith fans were stood behind them (many at the bar).  Oh well at least there were 90 of us and it seemed like a friendly crowd.

"I wrote this song when I was 21 years old" started TV (you could  see some of the kids at the front thinking - 21, boy that's old! Following  No Time To Be 21 was New Church (I've been asked on TV's site to start a  best ever TV lyrics list - "Strength within you, not without you!"  takes some beating). 

Then three fan fav's Atlantic Tunnel, Only One Flavour and Immortal Rich followed  by This Year' and Cast of Thousands. The crowd began to warm up and the ale  continued to flow. "The sights I've seen, the things I've heard while sliding  down the learning curve," sang TV. Following Future was one of my favourites,  Eurodisneyland Tomorrow. Then came the first (and last) ever punk sea shanty,  The Day We Caught The Big Fish. 

I heard one fan shouting out "The Suit" and realised that Dave Allen  was in the house. I went over and had a chat with Mr Channel 5 himself. It was  great to meet him at last.

During Thin Green Line TV started to do his leg-end-ary high kick - teenage  mouths widened in shock! TV introduced the band as he sequenced his way through  Lion And The Lamb and Expensive Being Poor. I spotted the lads from Sheffield  and said hello. TV had promised one of them his last copy of Useless, so I nipped  through to the side of the stage and got it for him. Taking a few side close  up shots on the way back.

After a splattering of March of The Giants (Can't Gather Giants - too right!)  came get Your Ticket Out Of Here followed by the gorgeous As Soon As I Found  It I Lost It, this songs "a knifes edge between love and pain". Paul  had been watching me take photo's "you should climb up on the tables at  the front and take some pics looking down on TV" he advised, "great  Idea Paul, why don't you show me how to do it" was the unsubtle crafty  reply. Off he went mountaineering his way to the front.

"This songs for Martin at his first ever gig" announced TV (cheers  Teev!) as he propelled himself into Bored Teenager. Martin (my nephew)  had been going through the Kevin and Perry years, with "I da no" as  his response to most questions.

Next that one big hit single and a few Punk fans began to make their way to  the front. Some more explosive jokes preceded the ever appropriate Tomahawk  Cruise and Happy Homeland with 'the sequencer band'. Instant up-tempo with the  World Just Got Smaller Again. Smit and Henry made a beeline for a space at the  front and began dancing, much to the amazement of the teenagers who again stared  with their mouths wide open in disbelief. I snatched up my pocketed camera like  The Sundance Kid and flashed at the bopping duo. No doubt in an effort to get  Smit and Henry to sit down, TV opted for the cheerful Runaway Train Driver,  but it didn't work on and on did they pogo, duck and jive.

"MMMoooooorrrrrrreeeeeee" shouted Smit, it was encore time again.  One of the Punk girls dancing at the front asked, "Play No Time To Be 21".  "I've already done that one" replied TV, "I want to hear No Time  To Be 21!", "I've got nearly 200 songs I can play and you want me  to play one twice!", "I WANT TO HEAR NO TIME TO BE 21!" she demanded.  Seeing this could go on forever, TV gave in, and finished off with 21 and One  Chord Wonders.

I went to the front and helped TV sell some CD's. I was delighted when some  of my mates bought several copies. Martin came up and thanked TV for the dedication  - splendid young chap my nephew (and I thought he was meant to take after  me!). 

TV had a chat with John Keenan (the Leeds gig arranger) who was pleased with  the turnout and performance. It was three times as many people as TV's last  Leeds gig at the Duchess (mind you as I had pointed out to John earlier,  their had been a snow storm that night). John was going to see if he could  arrange a joint gig with TV, Hugh Cornwell and Tom Robinson. Fingers crossed!

We had booked a five-seater taxi home and when it arrived we said our farewells.  By now the Roosters beer had taken hold and I forgot to give directions. After  a friendly kick I got myself in order and we were soon back on track.

Back at Clifford I got TV to sign a poster "to Martin at his first gig"  and took a quick photo of the signing for Martin. We hit the porter, Stella,  smokes, nibbles and music. As the Hambleton Nightmare, Orkney Dark Island, RCH  Ale Mary (which I remember tasted like a spicy Christmas pudding) and Freeminer  Deep Shaft flowed we listened to Ian Hunter and They Might Be Giants (with free  sing-a-long provided by Smit and Henry). Lisa was the first to retire (roundabout  the time Smit started singing). Smit and Henry then got into a very intense  discussion about work…the last thing I remember saying that night was "you've  got TV Smith, your favourite singer songwriter in the room and your having a  bloody debate about work!!! We finished the night by talking about what a great  gig it had been and how TV and I had had a roller coaster of a day.

Went to bed pissed and late, but on half-day holiday tomorrow. 

Long Eaton next - can't wait! 

Tj